Although in practice we are always making choices, the mental condition of not making a choice has a huge impact on our sense of happiness and satisfaction, and on our ability to recruit inner resources to support a desired change.
The expression “one foot here and one foot there,” means to literally be in one place while, in our minds, constantly planning on leaving. Many are keeping a job or staying in a relationship for years, and while “voting with their feet” on their choice to stay where they are, in their heads they keep complaining about the situation, and once again telling themselves, “I’m just about to leave.”
But despite their continued complaints, the current situation conceals advantages they are not willing to give up yet.
A wise choice is one that comes from a state of acceptance, and determines, “Despite the disadvantages of the current situation, this is the best choice I can make right now, and thus I’ll give up complaining and choose to mentally be where I am.”
When we constantly complain we learn to believe our words, and find it hard to see that our inner resistance to the situation creates most of the suffering, not the situation itself.
To bring acceptance to a certain situation is to accept the current moment as it is without complaining, and then the next moment, and so on, until we are ready to choose otherwise.
When we are no longer wasting energy with stories about “being stuck” and about the scary future that awaits, we can think more clearly and become more effective at achieving our goals.